When you're feeling fancy

Do you ever feel like an evening gown and strappy shoes are not enough to make the kind of impression you are going for? Well worry no more. To arrive in style, you no longer need to rent a town car, limo, or escalade. Just add some lashes to your headlights. Yeah you heard me right. Today in Park City, I was astonished with what I saw.


Why does all of this crap come from Utah and more importantly why do people buy it? In case you want your own set, they can be purchased here.

Goodbye my lover

Dearest Diet Coke,
You have been my saving grace on more than one occasion. You have always been there for me in my deepest time of need. I have sung praises to your name, and blessed your creators. I fell in love with you quickly and deeply.

In the past few weeks, I have started to feel differently towards you. The popping of the can, the burning of the bubbles, the rich caramel flavor, just hasn't been enough. To have you in my company has been more of an obligation than a joy.

I can no longer feel like a slave to you. I feel that it is best that we part ways. I wish you well. I hope that you will find many loyal fans who will stick with you through thick and thin. Right now, I need to do what is best for me. It's not you, it's me.
Farewell,
Steph

Fun Fact Friday

Maybe "Fun Fact Friday" was something that I made up on my way to work because I have nothing else to blog about, maybe it wasn't. Don't lie, I know you don't really care about my Stake Relief Society training last night. The one where all the wards except mine were given binders full of emergency preparedness plans...it's ok, we're single, we don't need to live...Will someone please feed my dog?

Regardless of how lame this post is you get know learn 8 (5 wasn't enough, ten was too many) random facts about me.

#1. I absolutely hate April Fools Day- Every year I wake up dreading it. I wonder how many fake babies are made and murdered each April 1st? It's a tragedy really...thousands of dead fake babies.

#2. Love sauerkraut on my hot dogs-I don't eat hot dogs all that often, when I do they are only all beef. Don't judge, I know you eat them too.

#3. I have never seen Star Wars-I don't plan on changing that either.

#4. I can say the ABC's backwards-Legitimately I will not just turn around and say them. That's what all the posers who want to be cool like me do.

#5. Some might say I am a rapper-While it is true I like to break it down with the boy bow-wow, I don't do free style...Ain't neva gonna happen.

#6. I LOVE broccoli-It's my favorite vegetable. It doesn't matter how it's cooked, or if it's cooked at all. I could eat it everyday!

#7. I have the fever-The Beiber Fever..Not really but I do have ONE song that may or may not be in my top 25 played list on itunes.

#8. I am the proud owner of a tuxedo t-shirt- This is for when I am feeling fancy. Nothing says, "I'm formal, but like to party" like a tuxedo t-shirt.

Well there you have it folks. Enjoy!!!

To the fish in the sea

Dear Internet Dating Site Boy #1,
Your cheesy pick up line won't work on anyone over the age of 15. Think of a new approach and try again. You can do this...girls are not that scary (well most of the time they are not). Good Luck!
Sincerly,
I'm happy to help, but it's never going to happen with me.

Dear Internet Dating Site Boy #2,
You're hot, smart, funny, and charismatic. Please ask me out already!
Sincerly,
The girl who is patiently awaiting your next email.

I'm just like a cat...I have 9 lives

6 months!!! My oh my where has the time gone. My life has been full of all sorts of adventure...ok, that's a lie. Unless you call working an adventure, which I don't. The truth is I am just lazy. I needed a break. My creative juices had run dry. Don't fear, I have been rejuvenated. This is mostly because my consumption of diet coke, and chocolate cookies has increased. Heaven bless the makers of diet coke, praise be their name.

So a couple of weeks ago, I decided to have a cookie decorating party for St. Patrick's Day. That is what we Mormons do; instead of drinking we bake. I went to go the store to get decorations, and Irish Creme Soda (what party would be complete without garland). Alas, the store was out of said items. I live in Utah, it was 5 pm on the day of this event, what was I thinking? I left the store in a hurry in hopes of making it to another one before my guests started to arrive. As I stepped off the curb, my ankle decided that it hated me. It gave out, causing me to tumble to my death (me dramatic...never) on Main Street. As I was laying in the gutter, cars were slowing down staring at the "poor little drunk girl" who fell down. I gathered all my courage and hobbled to my car, where I proceeded to cry.

The next day, I sucked it up and went to the doctors office. Turns out I have torn ligaments in both my ankle and knee, a bruised patella, and a possible meniscal tear. As if that wasn't bad enough a few days ago, the other side of my foot started to hurt. So I sucked it up again, and went back to the doctor. Now I have stress fractures in my foot. The worst part of this whole ordeal, aside from the pain, is that I have to wear shoes with arch support. Have you ever tried to find cute shoes with arch support? No, well count your lucky stars. No joke, my doctor wrote me a note to give to my work to excuse me from having to dress up. I wish that blasted note said that I could also wear my sweats and come in at noon.

I have to go back to the doctors office in a few weeks to check on my knee and make sure there isn't actually a meniscal tear. Moral of this story...watch out for curbs and killer ankles, they'll attack at any time. If you do find that you have been attacked, you should see if your doctors office has a frequent visitor rewards program so your 5th visit is free. I can promise you, you'll be going more than once.