Dear Internet Dating Site Boy #1,
Your cheesy pick up line won't work on anyone over the age of 15. Think of a new approach and try again. You can do this...girls are not that scary (well most of the time they are not). Good Luck!
Sincerly,
I'm happy to help, but it's never going to happen with me.
Dear Internet Dating Site Boy #2,
You're hot, smart, funny, and charismatic. Please ask me out already!
Sincerly,
The girl who is patiently awaiting your next email.
March 31, 2011
March 30, 2011
I'm just like a cat...I have 9 lives
6 months!!! My oh my where has the time gone. My life has been full of all sorts of adventure...ok, that's a lie. Unless you call working an adventure, which I don't. The truth is I am just lazy. I needed a break. My creative juices had run dry. Don't fear, I have been rejuvenated. This is mostly because my consumption of diet coke, and chocolate cookies has increased. Heaven bless the makers of diet coke, praise be their name.
So a couple of weeks ago, I decided to have a cookie decorating party for St. Patrick's Day. That is what we Mormons do; instead of drinking we bake. I went to go the store to get decorations, and Irish Creme Soda (what party would be complete without garland). Alas, the store was out of said items. I live in Utah, it was 5 pm on the day of this event, what was I thinking? I left the store in a hurry in hopes of making it to another one before my guests started to arrive. As I stepped off the curb, my ankle decided that it hated me. It gave out, causing me to tumble to my death (me dramatic...never) on Main Street. As I was laying in the gutter, cars were slowing down staring at the "poor little drunk girl" who fell down. I gathered all my courage and hobbled to my car, where I proceeded to cry.
The next day, I sucked it up and went to the doctors office. Turns out I have torn ligaments in both my ankle and knee, a bruised patella, and a possible meniscal tear. As if that wasn't bad enough a few days ago, the other side of my foot started to hurt. So I sucked it up again, and went back to the doctor. Now I have stress fractures in my foot. The worst part of this whole ordeal, aside from the pain, is that I have to wear shoes with arch support. Have you ever tried to find cute shoes with arch support? No, well count your lucky stars. No joke, my doctor wrote me a note to give to my work to excuse me from having to dress up. I wish that blasted note said that I could also wear my sweats and come in at noon.
I have to go back to the doctors office in a few weeks to check on my knee and make sure there isn't actually a meniscal tear. Moral of this story...watch out for curbs and killer ankles, they'll attack at any time. If you do find that you have been attacked, you should see if your doctors office has a frequent visitor rewards program so your 5th visit is free. I can promise you, you'll be going more than once.
So a couple of weeks ago, I decided to have a cookie decorating party for St. Patrick's Day. That is what we Mormons do; instead of drinking we bake. I went to go the store to get decorations, and Irish Creme Soda (what party would be complete without garland). Alas, the store was out of said items. I live in Utah, it was 5 pm on the day of this event, what was I thinking? I left the store in a hurry in hopes of making it to another one before my guests started to arrive. As I stepped off the curb, my ankle decided that it hated me. It gave out, causing me to tumble to my death (me dramatic...never) on Main Street. As I was laying in the gutter, cars were slowing down staring at the "poor little drunk girl" who fell down. I gathered all my courage and hobbled to my car, where I proceeded to cry.
The next day, I sucked it up and went to the doctors office. Turns out I have torn ligaments in both my ankle and knee, a bruised patella, and a possible meniscal tear. As if that wasn't bad enough a few days ago, the other side of my foot started to hurt. So I sucked it up again, and went back to the doctor. Now I have stress fractures in my foot. The worst part of this whole ordeal, aside from the pain, is that I have to wear shoes with arch support. Have you ever tried to find cute shoes with arch support? No, well count your lucky stars. No joke, my doctor wrote me a note to give to my work to excuse me from having to dress up. I wish that blasted note said that I could also wear my sweats and come in at noon.
I have to go back to the doctors office in a few weeks to check on my knee and make sure there isn't actually a meniscal tear. Moral of this story...watch out for curbs and killer ankles, they'll attack at any time. If you do find that you have been attacked, you should see if your doctors office has a frequent visitor rewards program so your 5th visit is free. I can promise you, you'll be going more than once.
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