Lately I have been feeling very down about myself, my life, and well basically everything. I went to Arizona last weekend to visit some friends and to hopefully find the fun Stephanie again. I had a blast and I owe a lot of it to Jenna (She's cool, check out her blog).
On Sunday as I got to the airport I realized that my flight had been delayed. I had taken the latest flight there was (I really did not want to leave, I would live there in a heartbeat) so I was already getting home fairly late. With the delayed flight that meant a later arrival time which would then mean less sleep for the next day. To say the least I was not the happiest camper about this, but I was in a good mood because of the fantastic weekend I just had. I was lucky enough to be in the first boarding group (gotta love Southwest) so I got a good seat. As the other passengers were boarding the plane this mom came up to me and asked if she and her two boys could sit next to me. I asked her how old her twin boys were, and she said well they are not twins, one is 2 and the other is 8 months. The 2 year old had down syndrome and was small even for a special needs child. He sat in the seat next to me.
This little boy, B, he had the most amazing blue eyes and kind smile. You know on Americas Next Top Model when Tyra says "smile with your eyes", he does that. He smiled at me, I smiled at him and we were instant friends. He shared my magazine and showed me pictures on the safety pamphlet. He tried to share his bottle, and he would try to talk to me the best that he could. Amazingly I was able to understand what his sounds were and get him the things he wanted. As the plane was landing he got scared. He immediately grabbed my arm, put his head on my shoulder and held on. This sweet little boy was able to build a friendship and then trust me with his life in one short hour.
This week as I have been struggling with some things, this little boy has come to mind. I wish that I could be like him. I wish that I could trust and love like him. I wish that in my dark and scary times I was able to let go and put my life into the hands of someone else. I have this strange desire to be in control, to know exactly what is going to happen and to prepare for it. I know that with these particular struggles it is an opportunity to strengthen my faith. I have decided that I am going to be like that special little boy, hold on, lay my head on the Lords shoulder and see what he has in store for me. Wish me luck!
I will forever be grateful to that mother for choosing to sit next to me. I learned so much in that short hour, and will reflect upon it many times.