June 16, 2010

It's like a bad train wreck... I have to watch

So at the end of the last season of the Bachelor with Jake, I made a promise. This promise was simple-I would no longer waste my time or brain cells with this stupid show. I was doing really well in keeping this promise, until 2 weeks into this seasons Bachelorette with Ali.
I hate her. I really do. She annoys me to no end. She keeps loser guys, has bad extensions, and the worst fake laugh I have ever heard. Seriously it's like hyena with a cold, and I want to smack her. Who knew I had such a violent personality.

Last night I had the unfortunate experience of watching this with my mom. It was great to spend some quality time with mom. But, I wish we would have been doing something a little more productive like playing Yahtzee.

I have a few comments regarding this last episode.

1. Who does weatherman think he is? Lurking in the background. Look little gay man. Come to terms with who you are and stop being a freak. Good luck getting a date after this show, now the whole world (note-I sometimes exaggerate) knows you are freaky. P.S. I don't care what forecast you say, it will never ever be hot where you are, just saying.

2. Ali I am sorry that you were sick. But, please don't kiss boys when you are on your dying on your bed. Let them give you a little peck on the cheek and then send them on their way. Nobody wants to see you get your "mack" on while you are on your death bed. I question the sanity of the boys that actually kissed you while you were sick.

3. Dude, who got a tattoo. I do believe the psych ward has an opening in room 9. Don't walk, run there. You need all the help you can get. I understand you were trying to "prove your commitment" to her but in my opinion (which is obviously the only right one-look it's my blog alright) permanent ink should wait until you are actually paying for dates yourself instead of mooching off of ABC. I have read reality Steve, and I know you don't last until the end. What are you going to do with that tat? Pretend you did it for the next girl you date, I am sure she will love the shield that is protecting Ali's er I mean her heart. I think she'll know what really happened.

4. Rated R. You creep me out. We all know you are up to something. Do you just moonlight as a wrestler or is that really your job?

I am sad to report that I will be most likely, who am I kidding, I will be watching next weeks episode. Do you watch this show? What do you think or this season?


Little Ms Blogger said...

I'm totally sucked in. Although Ali's laugh can annoy me, she has the best facial expressions (c'mon didn't you love when she heard Casey singing to her?).

I like Chris from the Cape.

Reagan said...

Steph, I don't know how to tell you this...but I got a tattoo...it's a giant heart with a shield in front...totally don't take this the wrong way...but I got it for you. ;)

Stephanie said...

Little Ms. Blogger... I like Chris from the Cape too. If she sends him packing, I hope she sends him my way. Her face was priceless during the singing part.

Jared and Tiffany said...

i dont have to watch this show because i can just read your blog and get all the info i need. Im super sad that I am missing all this drama and creepyness.

Kelsey K. Hartley said...

I swore I'd never watch it again too! Then my friends told me about this episode and I kinda wanna find it on Hulu and see it.

Shaylyn said...

Oh Steph! You are so adorable! And you pretty much stole the words right out of my mouth. This show is so stupid.. yet I have been watching it for the last 4 years!!! What's my problem... I guess I just got addicted. It all started with that SLEEZE BALL Brad Womack!!! Then I promised I wouldn't watch DeAnna cause I thought/think she's the whore of the earth. Then stupid Jason who I really wanted to be a good guy, but alas.. reality tv hit stole his man card and he started dating nasty nast. Then With Jillian who I still love!! And then with stupid Jake and Stupid Ali!! This show is so wacked!! AHH!

So basically what I am getting to is... Do you wanna have a Bachelorette party with me?! We can talk about how bad Ali's hair looks and how drunk she must be to keep all of these LoSeRs! HAHA!