January 21, 2008

"A paradox, a paradox, a most peculiar paradox"

So get this. I moved into my ward in May. I did not receive a calling and I was getting frustrated about it. The thought came into my mind that maybe they were going to leave things as is until the start of the school year.

Well the start of the school year came and went. I still had not received any calling and I was beginning to feel irritated about it. It is really hard to move into a ward without knowing anyone and get to know new people. This is usually made easier by getting involved in the ward, you know like having a calling. Some time passed and I decided to be proactive about this. Scheduled a meeting to talk with my bishop to let him know of my concerns. I spoke with him and he assured me that I would be given a calling.

Some more time passes, and I begin to feel upset. I had a lot of other things going on in my life and I truly felt the need to serve. I went and spoke to my bishop once again It was now the end of October. He told me that he would make sure that I was given a calling.

Some more time passed. It was now December and I went to get my temple recommend signed by the stake president. He asked me if I fulfill all of my callings. I started to cry. I was feeling worthless and not needed where I was. That is a feeling that no one should have to experience. I explained to him that I had spoke with the bishop about this, but I still had not received a calling. He told me that it was not suppose to be like (I already knew this, I did pick up on a few things during my mission), and that he would talk to my bishop.

More time passes. I start to wonder what I am suppose to do and I have the strong impression that I need to move up. More specifically, to Salt Lake. I start looking. I wanted to be in the south end of the valley. On Friday night I was looking on craigslist.com and I found a place. Immediately this place seemed right. I was within my price range and in the location I wanted. I emailed the girl. Saturday she emailed me back and told me it was available still and asked to set up a time to go and see it. I called her we set up a time for early this week. Sunday morning I list my apartment contract online. Then I go to church. In Sunday school, I am pulled out and given a calling. I was sustained in Sacrament meeting, and set apart after the meetings.

I just find it so weird the timing of it all. Does this mean that the Lord does not want me to move? Am I suppose to stay where I am? There are other reasons for wanting to move. I have honestly felt that it was the right thing, until now. Now I am just confused, and I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little bit annoyed. Timing is everything right?!


Kalli Ko said...

screw it, move on outta there!

Reagan Florence said...

Everything will work out I promise! And you can come to our ward, they will for sure give you a calling!

Reagan Florence said...

oh and I love you!