January 27, 2008

What if?

So this weekend I had the opportunity to go and see the movie The Bucket List. It was a good movie, about friendship and the importance of life and family.

This movie is about two elderly gentlemen that find out they have cancer and are not given much time to live. They make a list of the things they want to do before they die.

This got me thinking, big surprise I know. If I had cancer would I want to know. I think that it would depend. I guess if it was a cancer that could be fought and there was a high probability that I would survive, then I would be all right lets get going. Give me that chemo. However, if there was little chance that I would survive I don't think that I would want to fight it. I know it may sound as though I am being a doomsdayer (is that a word, if not I hope you know what I mean). It's not like I am just giving up.

Here is my reasoning. The treatment of cancer leaves you extremely sick. This is not a one time deal there is a series of treatments that you go through. I dont want to spend the last little bit of my life sick in bed. I want to live life. I want to have fun. I want to spend that time with my family and friends making memories. Call me selfish but I don't want the last memories of me that people have to be me vomiting because of the chemotherapy. There are many things that I want to do. If I only had a little bit of time left I know I would not want to be in bed sick. I know that I would be sick anyways as cancer is not a walk in the park but why be sicker than you have to be, especially if there is only a small chance you will survive.

After I came to this conclusion I began thinking that there is no guarantee on life. I don't know how much time I have left to live. I could die tomorrow, I am hoping that this doesn't happen but it could. I don't want to wait for a diagnosis of a terminal disease to start living my life and making goals. I am going to do it now. This life is a gift and should be treated as such. I am going to do the things that I want to now while I still can. I had better go and make a list.

3 comments:

Reagan Florence said...

So, cancer is sad! And I am the same way. I dont want my family to have bad memories of me either. Are we gonna make our bucket list?

stephanie said...

Lets make it!

Terralee said...

Cancer is sad and definitly a scary thing in my book but I would want to know. To prepare my family and stuff. But it makes you think you never do know when it will be your last day. That's the biggest reason why I hate arguments and whenever I leave especially family I always try to tell everyone that I love them. Yes it gets repetitive but I would rather have that be last thing I say to them then anything else. But yes make that bucket list and live life to the fullest!!!!!